


Laven Week 2016

by errantknightess



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Fluff, Introspection, Laven Week, M/M, Making Out, Nightmares, card tricks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-07 11:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7713622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/errantknightess/pseuds/errantknightess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To him, it was merely another statistics – to Allen, it was the meaning of life. Lavi wondered what it must be like, to devote himself so endlessly to a single cause. As a bookman, he knew he should never understand that.<br/>---<br/>A collection of canonverse snapshots capturing some good and bad moments in Allen and Lavi's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1 - The Sun

The air up ahead rippled and moved, distorting the lone tree on the horizon as if it were about to melt in the relentless heat. There was no shade anywhere around, nowhere to hide from the sun beating down on them as they dragged themselves along the dusty road, battered and bruised. Wind picked up behind their backs every now and then, and with it came the smoke from the field they had left in the distance. Lavi coughed into his hand. The burning remains of the akuma smelled foul, biting in his throat and nostrils until his eye started to tear up. He dabbed at it impatiently, then yanked his headband down and wiped his forehead, smearing sweat and soot all over his face.

“Here, use this.” Allen offered him a torn up glove, his left hand bare and shaking slightly as he held it out.

“Thanks.” Lavi’s fingers lingered on the coarse red skin as he took the scrap to clean himself up, trailing dark smudges on the white fabric. He held on to it mindlessly, wondering whether the warmth it radiated came from Allen or the scorching sun above.

They kept walking, kicking up the dust that clung to their skin and clothes. Lavi breathed out heavily, his dry tongue sticking to the palate. Sweat trickled down under his clothes, seeped into his wounds, burned like acid. The empty road seemed to go on without an end.

“I think I can see the bell tower,” Allen announced, his voice ringing clear in the buzzing air. Lavi glanced at him out of the corner of his eye: he looked nearly transparent in the glare, the dried blood on his face in stark contrast with the pale skin. It didn’t belong there, Lavi decided, it didn’t fit with those big childlike eyes and the serene smile that lit them up.

“I’m starving. I hope we can get something good to eat once we reach the town,” Allen babbled in a dreamy voice, marching ahead with a bounce in his step. But under all that bustling energy there was a pensive edge to him that Lavi knew had nothing to do with planning their dinner. The wind rose up again, bringing the bitter stench back to them. How many monsters did they destroy today – how many souls saved? To him, it was merely another statistics – to Allen, it was the meaning of life. Lavi wondered what it must be like, to devote himself so endlessly to a single cause. As a bookman, he knew he should never understand that.

“Come on, Lavi, don’t fall behind now!” Allen urged, pressing ahead towards the hazy outline of the town flickering in the distance. Lavi just groaned and followed, turning his eye away from that bright smile and up to the blazing sky. He couldn’t afford to be blinded. It was safer to look at the sun.


	2. Day 2 - The Lovers

They cross the threshold hand in hand, stumbling on shaky legs. The door closes quietly behind them; there’s nothing but their quickened breaths to break the silence. With the lights off and the curtains drawn, the room is plunged in a blue twilight. Lavi blinks. Allen’s face hovers just in front of him, blurred with closeness and the soft shadows that pad the walls. It’s there and not there at the same time, fading in and out, and Lavi desperately needs a proof that they still belong to the same world. Slowly, he raises his hand to trace the cloudy features, skimming over the plains and dips and mapping his face anew. Allen smiles under his fingertips, tilts his head and brings his lips to his open palm. The touch is light and fleeting, but enough to make Lavi’s knees buckle.

Before he can topple over, Allen wraps his arms around his waist and tugs him towards the bed. The mattress yields as they sit down on the edge, so close that Lavi can no longer tell if the heat he feels burning all over his body is his own or Allen’s. The flames swallow him from the head down, shoot through his veins and scorch his skin until even the thin layer of clothes he has on becomes unbearable. Allen pushes gently against him, straddles his thighs and leans in. For a blink, Lavi can see his own shadow reflected in the blown-up pupils; then his eye clenches shut and he falls back against the sheets as Allen meets their lips in a deep kiss.

It’s everything Lavi expected, and nothing at all like it.

He chokes on the hot breath, gasping softly when Allen trails lower down his jawline and neck. The room floats around him as the mattress wavers with their moves. His hands sneak under Allen’s shirt, pull at the fabric in a question he doesn’t dare to ask. Allen smiles against his skin, face pressed in the crook of his neck. Lavi shivers when he gives a small nod, white hair tickling the shell of his ear.

For how impatient they both are, they shed their clothes painfully slowly, fingers fumbling with buttons and clasps, a little shy and tingling with anticipation. Lavi squints against the dim light as his hands play over the front of Allen’s shirt, feeling their way in. Finally, the shirt slides off his shoulders and fluttering kisses follow in its wake, careful, as if they both still can’t believe this is real, as if they’re expecting each other to shatter under the fingertips. Allen seems to glow in the dusk, his skin translucent like alabaster, showing off pale blue veins and thin red lace of old and fresh scars. Lavi traces them with his finger, following their crisscrossing paths and trying to walk himself through the maze of lines.

He already knows he will never find his way out.


	3. Day 3 - The Magician

Low afternoon sunrays filter through the curtains, filling the library with a warm orange light. It’s just a touch too dark to read, but Lavi makes nothing of that, sprawled on the lumpy sofa by the window with a book in his hand.

“You’ll ruin your eyesight.” Allen’s voice breaks the silence, monotone and distant. Lavi glances up to see him curled at the other end of the sofa, mindlessly playing with a deck of cards. He never raises his head, eyes fixed dead ahead on the opposite wall.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Beansprout.” Lavi pokes him playfully with his foot and goes back to reading. The constant flutter of the cards flickers just at the edge of his vision.

“I always worry.” Allen shrugs with a smile. He cuts the deck once, twice, flips it and shuffles. The cards whisper through his hands, the dry rattle rolls through the room like a soft patter of rain. Lavi turns to look out the window. The sun glows just above the horizon, under a clear golden sky.

“How are you doing this?” he asks when a single card flies from the full deck right into Allen’s hand as if pulled by magnets.

Allen sends him a blank look, shaken from thoughts.

“What, this?” Another card shoots out in a flash and stops between awaiting fingers.

“Yeah, do that again!”

This time, Allen sends the card spinning his way. It whirls for a moment like a stray maple seed before Lavi grabs it in mid-air and inspects closely, as if expecting some kind of trickery.

“Still didn’t see it.” He shakes his head. “You’re too quick.”

“You just need to flick it a certain way,” Allen says, lazily tossing the cards so they cascade between his palms. There’s a moment of expectant silence before he takes the hint. “Come here, I’ll show you.”

Lavi doesn’t need to be told twice. He marks his book with the card he had caught and scoots closer until he can rest his chin on Allen’s shoulder. Allen shrugs him off gently but firmly.

“I’ll need some space,” he says, breath tickling over Lavi’s face as their cheeks brush together. Lavi huffs and pulls away just a bit, Allen’s back still pressed warmly against his chest.

“Do your magic.”

With a soft smile, Allen taps the deck flush and slides a card off the top. He twirls it slowly in his fingers, tucks into position, and pauses.

“See how the corner lines up with my knuckle? Now, all I have to do is press down here – and catch it.” And so he does. As soon as the card snaps into his open hand, Lavi plucks it out, eager to try for himself.

“What— like this? Oops.” He clicks his tongue as the card springs out of his fingers and drops sadly to the floor. He picks it up and quickly puts in position again.

“You’re too impatient.” Allen grabs his wrist, his fingers slipping onto Lavi’s to keep them in place. “Don’t press it so abruptly. And hold your hand steady, the card will go out the window if you flail like that. Try again now.”

“Right.” Lavi gives him a small nod, but even with Allen’s guidance, the next attempt is just as hopeless as the first one. Maybe it’s because of the touch that still lingers on his skin, tender and tingly, and because his fingers are now starting to get sticky with sweat.

“Don’t worry. It takes practice.” Allen laughs and leans to pick up the fallen card. He puts it straight back into Lavi’s hand, immediately correcting his hold for another go. “You just have to feel it.”

But the only thing that Lavi can feel is their touching knees and Allen’s hand on his own. He tries again, and again, the cards scattering around like his thoughts. After a while, he doesn’t even bother picking them up anymore; they pile up at his feet, until finally one of them reaches the aim.

“Did you see that?” Lavi jumps up on the sofa, turning to Allen with a wide smile; he almost bumps their heads together for how close they are sitting. Allen smiles back at him and squeezes his hand, gently running his thumb across the knuckles.

“Good job, Lavi. Congratulations.”

“ _Good job_ yourself. You taught me that.” As the enthusiasm hits his head, Lavi swoops in to press a victorious kiss on Allen’s cheek. It’s short and sweet, and when they pull away from each other, there’s a moment of silence before Allen clears his throat.

“You know,” he says with a coy smile playing on his lips, “I didn’t quite catch it. Can you do that again?”

Lavi blinks. Opens his mouth. The hold around his wrist tightens. He breaths out deeply, stifles a laugh, and slowly leans in again.

The card in his hand drops forgotten to the floor.


	4. Day 4 - The Hanged Man

Cold, muddy water lapped his shins, the splash echoing off the walls. Faint reflections of the ripples crawled across the brick like cobwebs fluttering in a draft. Lavi followed them with his eye all around the dim tunnel. The high vaulted ceiling drowned in a deep shadow that clung to the corners no matter how hard he peered into it.

“Are you scared?”

He whipped around, splattering water up to his knees. Allen’s face glowed sickly pale in the darkness, his features sharpened like those of a skull.

“No.” Lavi’s voice cracked as his hand wandered to the holster on his thigh. He clenched his fingers on the hammer, the icy metal burning through his skin. Allen smiled, the shadows under his eyes shifting. Freezing waves beat against Lavi’s legs as he stepped closer.

“Don’t be scared, Lavi. It’s just me.”

Lavi tightened his grip. The darkness wavered. Allen’s grin widened, splitting his face, cracking it like a porcelain plate.

“No.” Lavi forced the word out of his mouth, merely a breath in the still, moldy air. The water kept sloshing around him, pouring into his boots, cold, dirty and heavy as lead. He tried to move, to run, but something held him firmly in place under the stare of those glassy gray eyes.

“Allen,” he gasped, and Allen’s head burst open, sprinkling him in hot blood. Lavi stumbled and tripped, landing on his back in the pool of crimson. He scrambled to get up, groping around blindly as the waves washed over his head. His scream filled his lungs with water, the sour metallic taste burning in his throat. The dark ceiling seemed impossibly distant. The surface closed above him, pushing him into void.

Lavi jolted awake, his heart ready to rip out of his chest as he sat up with his eye open wide. The darkness was milder now, faded to gray, but the shapes it shrouded looked wrong and unfamiliar. Lavi looked around and blinked away the confusion, slowly realizing where he was: in his own room at the new Headquarters, still strange and cluttered with piles of unpacked boxes. With a sigh, he fell back onto the clammy pillow, throwing an arm across his face and slowly forcing his body to stop shaking. _One, two, three_ – he counted his breaths, holding them in as long as he could before releasing, a steady pattern he had practiced many times before. He was really glad he wasn’t bunking with Bookman anymore; by now, the old man would have been sick by his constant thrashing and screaming at night.

Road might be gone, but her visions had wormed their way deep into his brain.

***

“Lavi? Are you all right? You don’t look too well.” Allen leaned across the table to give him a concerned glance.

“Hmm?” Lavi blinked at him over his plate, head resting on his hand, just inches away from falling face-first into his breakfast. “Yeah, I’m fine. Didn’t get much sleep tonight.”

“Have you tried drinking some mint tea before bed? It usually works for me.”

“Thanks, but… I don’t think that would help.”

“Why? Is something bothering you?” Allen lowered his voice, casting a quick look to his side where Link was methodically dicing away at his pumpkin pie. Lavi shook his head, his cheek slipping precariously off his hand.

“No, I just…” He stifled a yawn and rubbed at his eye before sending Allen an unconvincing smile. “I’ll just take a nap later. It’s okay.”

But that was easier said than done. Even when he managed to catch a few winks here and there, it was shallow and restless, and he would soon shake himself awake before plunging any deeper into the dream. By nightfall, he was even more exhausted than before. Still, as he settled down in bed, ready to put off the lights, he couldn’t be more relieved when he heard someone knock on his door.

“Come in,” he called, and the door opened slowly. Allen slid into the room, pushing the door handle with his elbow, eyes fixed on two steaming mugs in his hands.

“I know you said this probably wouldn’t help, but…” he shrugged awkwardly, kicking the door closed and steering towards Lavi’s bed among the stacks of books and boxes. “There’s no harm in trying, is there?”

“Guess so.” Lavi accepted the mug with a tired smile and pressed his hands close to the warm ceramic. He took a deep breath, letting his lungs fill with the sharp smell of mint. It felt familiar in the oddest way.

“So you say you drink this stuff often?”

“Almost every day.” Allen nodded over the rim of his own mug, dangling his legs as he sat among the mess on Lavi’s desk. “It helps me to relax. I hope it will help you, too.”

“Yeah… Maybe.” Lavi took a long sip, his eye darting away towards the dark window. Allen picked up on it immediately; his mug clinked softly as he set it down and leaned towards him, arms wrapped tight around his stomach.

“You’ve been getting them too, haven’t you?” he said quietly, an observation rather than a question.

Lavi swallowed hard, the remains of the tea scalding his tongue.

“I saw you die.” He clenched his fingers on the mug, knuckles white against the dark enamel. “I’ve watched you dying over and over…” His voice trembled, and the words stumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them: “Allen, please. Stay with me tonight. I just need to know that you’re here. That you’re safe.”

Allen sat quietly for a moment, fidgeting with the rim of his nightshirt, his lips pressed in a thin line.

“All right,” he said at last, reaching to pluck the mug out of Lavi’s hands and set it down on the desk. The bedframe creaked as they both settled under the covers; just as Allen blew out the candle, Lavi found his hand in the darkness, squeezing gently as he held it up to his lips.

“Thank you,” he whispered against their laced fingers.

He couldn't tell if Allen's presence made him calmer or even more nervous. The warm weight of another body pressed so close to him was comforting, but in the silence, Lavi could hear each of his frantic heartbeats crashing against Allen's chest, faster and faster. Face buried in the pillow, he cleched his eye and tried to focus on his breath instead, _one, two, three_ , slow and controlled, rising and falling like the waves. Cold, muddy water lapped his shins, the splash echoing off the walls. Faint reflections of the ripples crawled across the brick like cobwebs fluttering in a draft. Lavi followed them with his eye all around the dim tunnel until his gaze focused on the pale figure in front of him.

“Lavi…” Allen’s voice floated through the darkness, coming from everywhere at once. The smile on his face never faltered as his lifeless body slumped into the water. Blood bubbled and frothed on the surface, spreading on the waves, wet red tongues licking at Lavi’s boots.

“Lavi…” Allen’s cracked head whispered, gazing back at him with empty eyes. “Lavi… Lavi…”

“Lavi!” A rough tug at his arm tore him out of sleep. Lavi's eye shot open, and he barely choked down the scream rising in his throat; Allen’s face hovered just inches from his own, staring back at him, ghostly pale in the moonlight. But the silver eyes were bright and full of concern, and as Allen brushed his hair back from his sweaty forehead, Lavi slowly eased himself back into reality.

“It’s all right,” Allen whispered, cupping Lavi’s face in his hands. “You’re all right, Lavi, everything is fine. I’m here.”

Lavi blinked, his eye and throat burning with tears. Relief flooded his chest, leaving his lungs ready to burst. He could hardly find his breath as he threw his arms around Allen and pulled him close, face buried in his chest, his shoulders heaving with stifled sobs. Allen rocked him gently, running his fingers through his hair, and as the motion lulled him, Lavi knew that this time he’ll be drifting into safe waters.


	5. Day 7 - The World

It’s funny how the mind works sometimes, setting up bridges between things that shouldn’t be really connected.

Maybe it was because of the snow piling up outside the window that Lavi’s thoughts kept wandering, fluttering about with the flurry of flakes. The snow was so white and soft, and just begging to go out and play in it. He should find Allen later and build a snowman again. Or they could go ice skating – he had to learn it properly one day. Yes, that was a good plan – but first, he had to finish his work.

Lavi joined the last two dots, the tip of his quill screeching against the rough paper. The map he had so meticulously copied into his travel journal was now just a mess of lines, crisscrossing and radiating in all directions. From London to Prague, from Bremen to Lisbon, through dozens of smaller towns and villages whose names he wouldn’t even care about if he didn’t have to document them. Every mission he took, each leg of each journey – everything was right there, transcribed into neat straight lines.

But things weren’t always as neat and straight in real life as they were on paper. Between these lines there were knots and breaks and tangles, little stories that didn’t always make their way to the pages of his reports. Lavi tapped his quill against the page, staring absent-mindedly at the tiny dots it pointed. Here’s where Allen nearly got himself arrested for cheating at cards; somewhere around here was the old mine where they got lost looking for the Akuma; and at this town right here, they missed their train after getting too caught up in some local festivities… So many places, so many memories. No matter how he looked at it, Allen was written all over this map, the one landmark that Lavi’s mind always turned to whenever it started to roam without aim.

And now, as if summoned by these obsessive thoughts, he suddenly showed up in the doorway.

“Hi, Lavi. Are you busy?”

“Almost done. Come in.” Lavi waved at him with a smile and turned back to his desk, face aglow like a little kid caught red-handed on stealing cookies. With the corner of his eye, he watched Allen sit down on the paper-strewn bed, careful not to crinkle anything.

“You’ve been to Barcelona?” Allen asked, eyeing the notes he picked up to make himself more room.

“Twice.” Lavi nodded, scribbling frantically in the notebook. “I had a mission there recently, but I’ve stopped there three years ago with Gramps, too.”

“I’ve passed through there when I was travelling with Cross,” Allen mused. “I can’t remember when that was. Who knows, maybe we were there at the same time and didn’t even know?”

“How crazy would that be?” Lavi shook his head with a laugh. “With how much we had moved around back then, we could have passed each other by in every other town. But I wouldn’t have even _seen_ you in Barcelona. I could barely see where I was going. It was raining cats and dogs all the time.”

“Your memory for such details is astounding.” Allen smiled. “That’s a pity, though. It’s a beautiful city. You missed out a lot.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lavi sighed, dropping his quill and moving to dig through the pile of papers next to Allen. “There’s this enormous church they’re building there that’s supposed to be a milestone in architecture. I’ve seen the plans, just let me find those notes… Anyway, it’s been under construction for years now and it’s still barely started – that’s how complicated it is. Isn’t that fascinating?”

“Do you think they would finish it by the time all of this ends?” Allen’s voice was strangely distant. Lavi looked up at him, still kneeling on the floor by the bed. There was something at the bottom of those gray eyes that he couldn’t quite read.

“I sure hope so,” he sighed. “Man, I’d love to see that.”

“Me too. We could go there together one day. And to some other places, too – wherever we want, and not just where we have to be.” Allen looked out the window, the corner of his lips quirking slightly. Lavi followed his eyes, but all he saw was the clouded sky, pale and endless. Slowly, he leaned his head back until it rested comfortably in Allen’s lap.

“Good plan,” he said. “I’ll hold you to it."

Maybe it was because of the snow piling up outside that the room grew so bright. The milky light bounced off the walls and caught in Allen’s hair – so white and soft and just begging to play with it. Lavi closed his eye, his breath stalling.

It’s scary how the mind works sometimes, setting up bridges that cannot be burned, no matter how hard you try.


End file.
